10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

I found this on the internet, I am not sure who the author is, but you know what? I have almost every point listed with my very best friend in the world. And yes, this friend is of the opposite sex, so wow, guess what? I might be normal after all!!!

Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.

KINDNESS

Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

Neither of us can stand to hurt the other one...

SPONTANEOUS WARMTH AND AFFECTION

Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within each other, rather than just the faults? Are you able to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

I've always said the best place in the world is right by his
side.

LAUGHTER AND FUN

Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.

He is sometimes the only one who gets my humor, and he is a bit whacked himself. I don't know of anyone that I have as much fun
with!

ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER AND TIME APART

Are you both each other’s favorite person to spend time with? Are you
motivated to set aside time just to be together?Do both of you have friends and
interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you fine when you are not together?Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

We both have our own lives we live independently, but at the end of almost everyday, we at least discuss it over the phone.

A METHOD FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION

All relationships have some conflict. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues just keep getting swept aside? If fighting is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

There never really are fights, there are times when I have to go calm down and wash my face and dry my tears....however, he has even recently begun to recognize that mode before it takes over and he backs up the conversation and regains perspective and can even bypass the tears......sometimes!

LETTING GO OF ANGER

If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection.

I am not sure either of us can carry a grudge, or that we even have desire to be able to do so. I don't like to fight, but if I happen to spew forth a few choice words, I am quickly over the entire situation.

TRUST IN YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER

Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other – and the love will still be there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are, not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

I think we both know where we stand with each other.

LISTENING, UNDERSTANDING, ACCEPTING AND LEARNING

Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without fearing being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling each other? Is listening
to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than
judging each other or defending yourselves?

Control....like either of us can control the other...hehehe

SEXUALITY

Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you?

Spontaneity....

FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF

Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you joy? Does your partner feel joy for your joy?While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for
themselves, most people need to heal the fears and false beliefs they learned in
their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or
her ability to be loving to themselves and each other.

No one on the face of the earth knows me any better than he does. He knows things I have never shared with anyone else, and I trust him
completely with that information.

Oh Yeah! Living the Footloose Fancy Free Single Life!!! WooHoo......NOT!

Oh Yeah, the life of Riley, I am living it I tell you. After being married for 12 years, I went through a divorce that went on for almost five years and now, well, I have been single for over a year. Woo Hoo. Yippee. You have no idea. My marriage ended long before I ever filed for divorce, I am sad to say that I tried to stay in it for the sake of the kids. Big Mistake. Big Huge Mistake. Kids always know. And, if the parents aren't happy together, the kids aren't happy either.

So anyhow, I started dating early on in the divorce proceedings. I learned a lot about the dating scene. It really stinks. It is difficult going out on first dates. Hoping for a second date. Getting the second date. Starting to actually get to know the person you are dating. Thinking there is hope. Discovering they are dilligently looking for something better than you - but yet keeping you on a string just in case nothing better comes along. Yeah. Great fun I tell ya!

Then you get to see your ex find someone new and exciting in their life. Your replacement. No matter how nice of a person they may be, human nature will not allow you to like that person. And the more your kids like that person, the more you hurt on the inside. It kind of shakes your confidence and makes you wonder if they secretly wish that person were their parent. It's crazy stuff and crazy things to think, but its human nature.

In my case, as a single parent, my kids go with their dad every other weekend. Well, my daughter doesn't due to circumstances with her dad's girlfriend, my daughter is not welcome there. So at the risk of sounding selfish and/or shallow, it usually ends up being difficult for me to even plan a date with someone. It seems like on the times I do, I have at least one kid who makes me feel like I am kicking them out so that I can have one date. And its a matter of that kid staying with a friend or a relative just so I don't have to worry about getting home early. But oh, the guilt trip.

Quite often, at the last minute I will end up home alone on a weekend night. Usually if that happens, a certain someone that I would choose to spend my evening with, has his kids for the weekend. It really does get frustrating. But my kids truly are my priority, and I want anyone I date to have the same priorities and be able to understand mine. Yeah. The single life. Its just fabulous darling, fabulous.

So, in a nutshell, the single life is not all its cracked up to be. I really miss the comfort zone of having someone in my life that can attend events with me, just sit in the same room with me, talk with me, laugh with me, cry with me, share the good and the bad. Some say I am lucky to have my kids with me so much, I am not alone, and its true, I'm not, but there is still that one big empty space in my soul....

The holidays are the most difficult. You have to share your kids with your ex and then you end up all alone a major portion of the holiday. Its just not that easy nor is it all that its cracked up to be. So.....let's not even think about Valentine's Day, the day that has the potential of being the lonliest of all.

Fixing Stuff

Today was one of those days where I had to face the harsh reality of life. My kitchen drawers were all messed up. They were off track and the clip thingys were busted and something had to be done. Three of the four drawers were screwed up and could no longer be ignored. I was frustrated because I had fixed one last fall just to have it bust again. But once I removed all of the drawers I was able to assess the situation and realized I had to change all of the clips that hold the tracks for the drawers in place. Ok. I went to Lowe's and bought the clippy thingys. I got out my cordless screwdriver thingy, a hand-me-down from my brother-in-law so he could get a new one. (A new one that works I might add...) This was one of two things I had on my Christmas list last year mind you, a cordless screwdriver and a ladder. Well I was given a ladder but a friend of the family has borrowed it and occasionally I can borrow it.....do I have issues over all of this, you betcha!!!

I also have issues sometimes over how I just wish I had someone to help me with these things. Someone who at a glance can take a look at what needs to be done and can instantly fix it. Its not like that in my case. I have to study the problem and turn it over in my head of just what it will take to remedy the situation. Nine times out of ten my first remedy doesn't work. This only serves to piss me off more and cause me to spend more time pouting and contemplating. Then I get wound up and in the mind set that my repair is going to work or I simply just don't need the @#$%^ thing that is broke!!! (I had my half bath closed off for three months due to this attitude!)

So anyhow, I sat down on the floor today with my little clippy thingys and my screwdriver because of course the hand-me-down cordless one is not working and does not have a proper bit that will fit....and I fixed the drawers in the time frame of about 20 minutes with no cussing or anything, just the sheer determination that I can and will fix this! So now I am doing my laundry, drinking my ice water and watching a chick flick....

Editor's Sidenote: I had to make sure I returned my handy dandy screwdriver to the drawer beside the refrigerator, because more often than not it doubles as a bottle opener! ;)

Things I have learned...

I've learned - that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned - that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do.

I've learned - that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned - that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned - that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned - that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned - that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned - that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned - that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned - that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned - that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned - that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned - that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned - that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned - that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned - that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned - that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned - that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned - that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned _ that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned - that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned - that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned - that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned - that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned - that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned - that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned - that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned - that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned - that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

I've learned - that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned - that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned - that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned - that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned - that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned - that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned - that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

© Kathy Kane Hansen

"This is not the fight we entered in Iraq, but it is the fight we are in. Every one of us wishes that this war were over and won. Yet it would not be like us to leave our promises unkept, our friends abandoned, and our own security at risk." - President Bush, January 23, 2007.

Not Really Any Choices Left To Make...

New Orleans at Chicago
3:00 pm

New England at Indianapolis
6:30 pm

This is really tough at this point, save for Indianapolis of course, but they are all teams that I would normally pick! I refuse to go against Indy so if AWB wants to make first pick on NO vs Chicago, I will take who's left.

AWB Colts and Bears

New England and New Orleans are both getting 3 points

JESS - COLTS AND NEW ORLEANS

Child Abuse

There have been several articles recently about child abuse. It absolutely breaks my heart every time I hear another story of it. The one this week involving a three year old and a six year old just breaks my heart.

This is a new song currently playing on the country charts. I am telling you, the first time I heard it, I was reduced to tears, and this week with this story coming to light, it hurts even more to hear it. Thank God someone finally helped these kids. It is the responsibility of each and every one of us to protect the little children. Wouldn't you rather be wrong if you suspect something is amiss in the life of a child you know, rather than wait around and be "dead right?"

Alyssa Lies - Jason Michael Carroll

My little girl met a new friend,
just the other day, on the playground at school between the tires and the
swings
But she came home with tear-filled eyes, and she said to me "Daddy,
Alyssa lies"
Well I just brushed it off at first, 'cause I didn't know how
much my little
girl had been hurt or the things she had seen. I wasn't ready
when I said "You
can tell me" and she said...

"Alyssa lies to the
classroom, Alyssa lies everyday at school, Alyssa lies
to the teachers as
she tries to cover every bruise"

My little girl laid her head down that
night to go to sleep. As I stepped
out the room, I heard her say a prayer so
soft and sweet "God bless my mom and
my Dad and my new friend, Alyssa *oh*I
know she needs you bad

Because Alyssa lies to the classroom, Alyssa lies
everyday at school,
Alyssa lies to the teachers as she tries to cover every
bruise" (bridge)

I had the worst night of sleep in years as I tried to
think of a way
to calm her fears *I knew exactly what I had to do*

but when we got to school on Monday I heard the news My little girl
asked me why everybody looked so sad the lump in my throat grew bigger with
every question that she asked. Until I felt the tears run down my face and I
told her that Alyssa wouldn't be at school today

'Cause she doesn't
lie in the classroom she doesn't lie anymore at school
Alyssa lies with Jesus because there's nothin' anyone would
do

Tears filled my eyes when my little girl asked me why
Alyssa lies *Oh
Daddy, oh* Daddy tell me why Alyssa lies

If this song makes no impact, I would encourage you to take a look at the lyrics to Concrete Angel by Martina McBride.

Special Treatment?

An assistant in the Kosciusko County prosecuting attorney's office was suspended after being in a fight in a local establishment back in December. He was in a verbal altercation with another patron and the bartender asked him to leave. Ultimately, the bartender physically removed him from the premises. The man punched the door, causing harm to the bartender. He was taken to the hospital for injuries he sustained as was the bartender... You can read the whole story here.

That is not the end, it gets more interesting. You see, if you or I had been involved in such an incident, after treatment at the hospital, we would have been booked directly into the local jail. But this gentleman was not. He was suspended from his job without pay for ONE WEEK! Now read this. Can you believe it? He still has not been arrested and now the taxpayers have to pay for a special prosecutor to review whether or not charges should be filed???

You can imagine the outrage heating up in the small town of Warsaw, letters to the editor of the newspaper are pouring in...

Prosecutor

Editor, Times-Union:

We, the common people, ones in jail, ones out on bond, on probation and sitting in prison for breaking the laws of our state, we are highly upset with our Warsaw Police Department and Prosecuting Attorney's Office.You can arrest and file charges on us right away when we break the laws, but not when it's one of your own. Why? It's now been 23 days since Matthew Shively, an assistant to the Kosciusko County Prosecutor's Office, committed his three crimes of public intoxication with a .148 alcohol content, damage to a city business, and personal injury to a taxpaying citizen who required stitches in his tongue. Yet no charges nor arrest have been made in these crimes. Why? See Dec. 14, 2006, Times-Union front page.Mr. Prosecutor of Warsaw, does not Matthew Shively's three crimes go against the peace and dignity of the State of Indiana like you always tell us when reading our charges? Myself and others have been arrested and booked into jail in this city for much less. Yet 23 days after one of your own committed crimes, you fail to take action. Why? You all should be ashamed of yourselves! Stop playing favoritism, Stop obstructing justice and do what you were sworn to do - uphold the law. Even if it is one of your own, police officers or court officials, you are not above the law and should be held accountable for your actions. Just who do we call for help when it's a police officer or courthouse employee breaking the law? Who can we trust?

Doug "Roacho" Sullivan, Warsaw, via e-mail

and

Prosecutor Responds

Editor, Times-Union:

In reply to Mr. Sullivan's letter to the editor concerning the Prosecuting Attorney's office, it appears that he did not bother to check the public records in the Kosciusko County Justice Building.A review of those records would reveal that on Dec. 21, 2006, the Office of the Kosciusko County Prosecuting Attorney filed a petition with the Circuit Court to have a special prosecutor appointed to review the matter because of any possible conflict of interest. As a result of a special prosecutor being appointed, the file has been forwarded to the special prosecutor for review.Therefore, I would advise Mr. Sullivan that if he desires to voice his opinion in a public forum, make sure to first research the facts so as not to mislead anyone. By the way, referencing yourself in your letter to the editor as being within the category of "common people" also is misleading in that the public record reveals your felony criminal history to be uncharacteristic of "common people."

R. Steven Hearn
Kosciusko County Prosecuting Attorney

and

Responds To Hearn
Editor, Times-Union:

In reply to Mr. Hearn's letter to the editor, beings it seems it's "the only" way we can speak to each other, is through the newspaper.Sir, you stated that I was misleading in my letter to the editor. You stated that my felony criminal history was uncharacteristic of "common people." (I'm glad you said that, Mr. Prosecutor). But first, in the jail report to the commissioners office, there was 4,222 jail bookings in 2006. Are you saying that these people are no longer "common people" now that they have a criminal record? Maybe not all felonies, but just the same, these people went to jail at the time of their offenses. Just like I always have, unlike one of your assistants.

Yes, you filed a petition with the Court on Dec. 21, 2006. But that is my point! It took you seven days to do that! When (we), "the common people" break the laws we go straight to jail, wondering how we are going to bond out, if we can.A prosecutor, Sir, elected or specially appointed can't file charges on someone unless there is an arrest for a crime. It's been 30 days and there's been no arrest on one of your own. The complaint was made at the time of the crimes one of your own committed, but out of all the police officers that responded to the call, (to a bar incident?), none of them arrested Matthew Shively, and he hurt a taxpaying, voting citizen in the course of his crimes.

You spoke of my felony criminal history, ("revealing my criminal history to be uncharacteristic of "common people'"). Yes, Sir, I have an intense criminal history, one I'm not proud of at all. And I have paid all my debts to society in full, Sir. I served 11 years in prison for hurting a citizen of our city (pretty much like Matthew Shively did), and I received 20 years for it! Now, is it not also "uncharacteristic," "unethical" and "unconstitutional" the common person would think.As a prosecutor of our county to downgrade me in a public forum on my criminal history, while sitting back and permitting a known DWI offender, a deputy sheriff, to be promoted to road corporal - that, Sir, is also public record while you're looking at criminal histories! And believe you me, I have done my research on the facts before voicing my opinion in a public forum on these matters!

Doug "Roacho" Sullivan, Warsaw, via e-mail

and
Arresting Situation

Editor, Times-Union:

I am writing this letter to you to let you know that the people I see on a daily basis are talking a lot about this situation in our community. Mr. Sullivan is being praised for having the courage to state his opinion about our prosecutor in our community and how this Shively situation has been handled. Mr. Sullivan's criminal history has very little to do with the fact that Mr. Shively was not arrested after getting medical treatment for his injuries, such as others have.

When I first saw the article in our newspaper, I was curious to see how long it would take for this man to face his wrong doings. Wow, takes a while when your job is involved.Our jobs in the community should not dictate as to when we get arrested for crimes we commit. Does the law state that should we be employed by the local cafe, our local bank, our local doctor's office prevent us from going to jail at moment the crime was committed? Everyone else does.

I read a very interesting article in the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette about this Shively thing on Jan 10., 2007. The stories are as different as night and day. Whose story is correct? Who is covering up? Why cover anything up the man broke the laws?I really wish all those individuals that have made comments to me about this situation would write a letter to the editor and not be afraid of reprisals. It is really sad that people don't feel safe in that they can't feel safe to speak their mind on what they read in our newspaper about who breaks the laws, private individuals or law enforcement.

Mr. Sullivan, I believe, was only quoting facts from newspaper stories he has read, such as myself and others in our community.And shame on you, Mr. Hearn, all Mr. Sullivan wanted was an answer as to why did Mr. Shively receive special treatment from our law enforcers. He was off duty (I hope being that drunk) therefore, acting as a private citizen. Right? So, again, the question is why was he treated with special considerations?

MJ Lindzy
Warsaw

Wow

I heard this on the news this morning.

'Hold your wee' contest turns deadly for woman...

By AP

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- A 28-year-old woman died of water intoxication after taking part in a radio station's water-drinking contest to win a Nintendo Wii video game system, the coroner's office said.

Jennifer Strange's mother found her daughter's body at home after Strange called her supervisor at work to say she was heading home in terrible pain.

Earlier in the day, Strange took part in a contest at radio station in which participants competed to see how much water they could drink without going to the bathroom. Initially, contestants were handed 220-millilitre bottles of water to drink every 15 minutes. The winner of the "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest was promised a Nintendo Wii console.

Here we go again!

Note: I am going to let AWB pick first, but it goes without saying, we will both be picking the COLTS!

Indianapolis +4 at Baltimore
AWB - Colts
Jess - Colts

Philadelphia +4 at New Orleans
AWB - New Orleans
Jess - Philadelphia
New Orleans won 27-24. But noooo, I had to use the fscking point spread again. [sigh]

Seattle +10 at Chicago
AWB - Chicago
Jess - Seattle

New England +6 at San Diego
AWB - New England
Jess - San Diego
You're on Mike, but we're betting the spread.

OMG - AWB I did everything I could to let you win this week, with it being so close to your birthday and all....I gave you first picks, I picked teams I would not have normally, but you had to put your point spread in... aw well, all that really matters is the THE COLTS WON!!!!!!

banned mastercard commercial

hahahahahahahaha

Danier Leather Banned Commercial

Very Smart Girl!