Something....

Something just seems not quite right. Maybe I am overly anxious. Maybe its nothing at all. The last few weeks have been absolutely wonderful and life-changing. So many things felt like they came back on track and somehow I thought I was getting it all together. A couple of dear friends have slipped through the cracks and I have even been taking steps to remedy that.

Labor Day weekend was one of the best Labor Day weekends I have had in years and I felt closer to my best friend than I have felt in a very long time.

I started as a "Kelly Girl" at one of the orthodpaedic companies as a receptionist. It was a part-time position to fill in for the other two receptionists when they needed sick days or had vacation days, etc. A great foot in the door. The very day that I started one of the girls quit so a full-time position became available. Protocol is to post within the company first and then to the outside public. However since this is an entry-level position they posted it to the outside first. The thought process is that someone already working there would not want to take a pay cut for this entry level position. It turns out several from within have applied for it.

They finally took the position off the website and are now weeding through all of the applicants. My common sense, or maybe just the way I think things should happen in my world, is that they would give proper consideration to any current employees who expressed an interest, but I would think they would not want to take a paycut. Then here is the part that is the perfect part of my world, the next step would be to take a look see at any Kelly Temps who applied, and of course my thought process is I am trained for this spot and I am getting pretty good at it if I do say so myself.......then they would look to the outside applicants. Right?

Yesterday it dawned on me that there were several big-wigs and oldtimers who are trying to pull strings to get family members, girlfriends, friends hired in. That started to make me very nervous. Then today I found out there is someone already working there 20+ years who wants the "demotion", can't handle the stress, and will probably quit otherwise. I have been feeling so down and blue now that I have realized I had gotten way over-confident and basically I really don't have a snowball in hell's shot at this job.

Not only this news, but other things around me feel as if they are falling apart too. I just have this very uneasy feeling I was fooling myself in several different arenas of my life and perhaps none of it is as peachy as I had thought.

Ever have one of those days?