My Kids

I love my kids so much it hurts. I want nothing but the best for them. I try oh so hard to give them the things they need and add in a few of the things they want as often as possible. Lately its been difficult to just come up with the things they need. As they grow older, it seems everything they need becomes so much more expensive. I do think they understand that I am doing the best that I can in that department and no one goes to bed cold or hungry, and no one awakes with nothing to wear the next morning. So we have those three beasts conquered. They may not have what they WANT to wear, but they have what they NEED.

I worry so much as they are growing up. I worry about their choices they will make. I worry about if I have given them enough guidance and a good foundation to make the right decisions. Maybe I just like to worry. When they are hurting, I hurt too.

My heart breaks a thousand times a day for my daughter and the wrongs her dad has done to her. She did nothing wrong except to be a little girl who wanted to be with her daddy and he slammed the door in her face. As I work on her order for graduation my heart breaks to go ahead and make plans and plan on her dad just ignoring this special event in her life. I think of the special days to come in her life and wonder if she and her dad will ever make peace. Every girl wants to be daddy's little girl and he has taken that from her. I can't make it right and I can't replace him. I offer as much as I can and do the best I can and I pray she will be ok.

I worry so much about my older son. He wants to make everyone happy. He is a "yes man", he will tell you exactly what you want to hear so as not to hurt your feelings. This concerns me very much because by doing that I fear he has lost himself in the shuffle of trying to be what everyone expects of him or wants for him. This has become painfully evident during the course of this latest legal battle with my exhusband. He filed for custody of this son because I filed for an increase in child support. It is so obvious as to why he filed for custody, to reduce child support, not because he truly loves his son. And if it was truly because he loves this child, why would he select only one of his children? How can he shun one child and adore another and pay minimal attention to the third one? These are things I don't understand. And these are things I do not know how to explain to my kids.

I don't worry too much about the little guy yet. I am sure he will give me his fair share of gray hairs too, but for now he is on even keel and his biggest concern is how to best divide his time fairly amongst all of his family members.

I love my kids, I love each of their unique personalities, I am oh so proud of each and every one of them and I hope they know and understand this even when I am "mean mommy" and/or
DragonLady."

So I have been tagged

So I have been tagged to list seven all time favorite albums. This I will do, but I am not going to tag anyone else, if you wish to participate, go right ahead. I had a hard time narrowing it to just seven... The Matchbox 20 cd I will always refer to as my divorce cd. I listened to it a lot during the time that we were first split up.

PLaYinG aGaiN

OK. Yes I have been goofing off tonight and revamping my blog. I wanted to change it over to a Christmas Background but I fear if I go too holidayish I might get busy and it could be stuck on a Christmas tree background or something until next April, and well, that would just be embarassing. But I think this at least looks kind of wintery and we know I like changing things up. The plus side to this revamping the blog thing is that I am not moving furniture and it kind of gives the same "high" I get from rearranging a room. Which you would be surprised at just how often I do that. Problem is, I tend to get hurt when I decide to move furniture, revamping a blog is relatively painless!

So on to another similar topic. I am loving my home office. One day soon I will blog about my entire ordeal with the arched window in my office that lets in too much light in the early mornings. It was a painful and frustrating ordeal that I am just not quite ready or able to completely put into words, but I will one day soon, I might even take pictures.......mebbe not.

Working at home is great. The kids have commented on how much better my mood is. You see, I can do laundry all day while I am working...and I am getting caught up on that and I can start dinner and have a decent meal with my kids in the evening. Without being totally stressed out. When they get home from school, I try to be at a point in my work where I can just stop and talk with them about their day. It is so cool, you have no idea. I have a comfy leather loveseat and chair with ottoman in my office and they just kick back and talk my ears off. The biggest problem is reminding them to quiet down when the phone rings, it is after all a business phone. But we are working on that.

During the day, I get to choose what music I want to listen to. Very way cool. I keep the tv off, I am afraid I would just be drawn into the other room to watch it. Besides I can get my news updates and blog fixes online as I work, I quite often have my laptop over to the side with messenger on while I am busy working on the other computer, this way I still feel like I am in touch with the outside world and it dings me when I get an email. And the cool thing is if its cold and dreary and I want to stay in my pajamas I can. So far I haven't though, I make an effort to get my shower and get dressed and be in the office and working by 8. (I have been coming in early every day so far!)

I have to give an honorable mention to Katie at This Crazy Life Because I have taken so much from her blog and learned so much from her blog. (Did I mention that I have known this munchkin since she was a baby? I used to babysit this wonderful kid!) I have found some other really incredible blogs that I am dying to link to, but I don't want to look like a stalker or something. I did add My Charming Kids because its awesome, warning, I was reduced to tears. Katie has some other really cool links for adoptive families that are also very heartwarming. But speaking of Katie, I haven't seen or heard from her since I emailed her the buckeye recipe, methinks she is lost in her kitchen!

Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Canon Rock

So Maggie and I are hard at work today and trying to get a little into the upcoming Holiday Season, so we are listening to TSO and working really hard.....well at least I am, Maggie wore herself out!

Maggie wore herself out

Maggie done wore herself out for the day!

The Lego King

I live with the 9 yr old Lego King. We have 1000s of legos everywhere. All kinds of kits that he has built. He is now into the Mars Mission line of legos. My sister and brother-in-law just bought him the deluxe, special edition Mars Mission set for helping them work on their home in Marion that they are getting ready to put on the market. (My sister had sold it on land contract and got it back in a shambles.) And my son has been going down with them and painting and working and has earned a couple of lego sets. Not to mention the overnight stay at a hotel with a swimming pool.

So last night when he returned from a weekend at his dad's his brand new Mars Mission lego set was here. I had to pry him away from it to get him to bed. He has a tendency to just get lost in the project and stay with it until its complete. This morning I went upstairs at 6:45 to get his sister up for coop and then school, and he popped out of bed wanting to know if he can work on his legos. I made him take his shower, eat breakfast and get dressed for school first because he will now work on this until the very last minute that he can before the bus comes at 8:30.

I do love watching him work on these kits though, not the typical male species, he sorts the pieces and follows the instructions step by step. He used to do this with the Bionocles and Transformers before he could even read! What a kid.

Taylor Swift and Def Lepperd performing Photograph

What an unexpected mix.

Home Office

Over the weekend I moved my office into my home. I love working from home and apparently the cats like it too. They keep me company thats for sure! The office took over my living room which resulted in us having to move the sofa up onto the "catwalk", this morning I caught the two "kittens" taking in a view from the top and I thought it was just too hilarious to not capture.

I missed a great opportunity last night, Mikey was sitting on my desk in front of my computer watching the screen saver. I went to get the camera but then he moved...I was going to send it to my mom and sister and tell them he was our newest employee. As I am adding this post, Mercedes (not pictured) is laying in my chair, Mikey the dark colored cat is laying on my desk, and Maggie (the one green eye, one blue eyed kitty, is sitting on the loveseat with me. Yes, they really do like having me home with them all day!

Cute Animals,

To the tune of, "Why Can't We Be Friends"... It's time to lighten up and get back to life and stuff...

I won't lie....

I won't lie, I am very disappointed in the election results. I did not expect to get so emotional. I fear what is in the future for our country. However, I am not a sore loser, just a sad one at this point, but I will stand behind our president and believe in his decisions, just as I did all other presidents before him.

The people have voted and the decision is made, so now its onward and upward and let's hope for the best for everyone.

National Election Results

Indiana Results