Kids

My kids are growing up and life is changing. Life is changing in ways that make me sad. Ways that make me happy. Ways that make me proud. Ways that make me mad. I guess its just all part of the grand scheme of things.

My two older kids are growing up and away, they are now exhibiting decisions they make of their own free will. Some are good, some are bad, some are hurtful, but they are their decisions. Their dad and I have worked to lay the foundation, we are there to guide and give advice, however they are at the age where we are "stupid." I have been there and done that. I look back and see the wisdom that was shared with me at the time...but I sure didn't see it as wisdom then.

I feel time slipping through my fingers. Not so much with my daughter who is just two weeks away from turning 18 and less than two months from graduating high school. I know my bond with her will always be strong. But I do feel time slipping through my fingers with my 16 yr old son.

The new visitation agreement gives him more time with his dad than with me and forces me into the "part-time" parent role. My heart is breaking a million times over just trying to accept and deal with this situation. With him being gone from me and his brother and sister so much, I fear that all of the "bonds" will crack and suffer.

We had a great night last night, my daughter had her boyfriend over for dinner and my oldest son had his girlfriend over for dinner. After dinner they went out in the yard and played ball with my youngest son. They had the puppy outside with them and were laughing and having a great time. Later we all went to Ritter's and had ice cream. As I absorbed it all in, I was happy and deep down inside kinda sad as I feel these times becoming more precious and slipping slowly away.

Man, I am going to make a terrible empty nester....