Oh My Goodness

Today was the day I have dreaded since the day I gave birth to my first child. Today my daughter got her learner's permit. Sigh. We went to the license branch with all of the paperwork and got thru the line pretty quickly, and before we were done checking in a girl already had her paperwork and was processing it before my daughter completed the eye test. So we were in and out of there in about ten minutes on the 31st!!! Have I mentioned how much I appreciate our license branch?

So then we went to breakfast and she argued with me that she is ready to drive me everywhere. I argued with her that she has not had enough practice yet and she has not done the driving portion with her driver's ed instructor. My words were, "You do not know what you do not know yet!"

I finally took her on the backroads and let her drive all the way home from town on the backroads. She did not do too bad. I was still quite nervous and basically a little sick to the stomach by the time we got home....nerves and all! But we survived, and the best part was when she started giggling and said she can't believe she is driving! These are the precious times I get to spend with my kids that are going to be fewer and further between as I have to let go and let them grow up more and more.

Good-Bye to a dear friend.

I received a phone call on Monday that a friend had passed suddenly over the weekend. It was shocking news. Fortunately, the call came before I sat down to read the newspaper. It was almost odd actually, I go online everyday and read news and obituaries, and for whatever reason I had not done that on Monday. I picked up the newspaper at the mini-mart that evening after picking my youngest son from an after school activity. Normally, I will hop in the truck and scan the paper quickly before going home, but, for whatever reason I didn't. I came home and tossed the paper into my chair and continued into the kitchen and got dinner on the table. We all sat down to a nice meal together.

After dinner the boys went outside to play and while I was still cleaning up I got the phone call notifying me of my friend's passing. It was shocking news. Several phone calls later I was told he was scheduled to go in for a catherization this week, but Saturday evening he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and just fell over. He died instantly.

Last fall I believe I related a story about him on another blog that I saw him one evening in the drugstore and he had just found out his wife was in an advanced stage of multiple mylomea (bone cancer), and he was devastated. He related how she had never been sick a day in her life and suddenly she was terminally ill. Having lost both of my grandparents to the same disease, I told him I understood and I would keep him and his wife in my prayers. And I have. Honestly, almost each day I have expected to read her obituary in the newspaper. And more honestly, I expect her to pass very quickly now also. This couple had been married over 50 years and did everything together. He worshiped her. I was always amazed to listen to him talk of her so lovingly after so many years of marriage.

I am still in shock over this news. He appeared to be the picture of health. Sharp and tuned in to everything around him. He was part of my business networking group. One of the things I liked best about him was that everytime he ran into my parents out and about he told them how much he thought of me. (When you are the blacksheep of the family you need all of the cheerleaders you can get!) I am very saddened by this news and even more saddened by his funeral arrangements. There are none. As I understand it, an associate of his died a few years ago in a car accident and the funeral was very dramatic and emotional. He decided then and there he wanted none of that at his. So he opted to not have one. I understand what he was thinking. But many of us who have spent the last 3-4 years having breakfast with him every Thursday morning are feeling a major loss that we have no closure for. I guess all I can say is rest in peace my friend, I hold your family in my prayers.

Borrowing

My son and I have this ongoing argument that I quite honestly thought we had resolved last summer, but apparently not.  He loves living in a neighborhood.  He really like hanging out with the older guys and talking shop.  He is a little man.  He likes to work.  He likes anything mechanical. He has grown up around his dad and all of his dad's friends hanging out at the shop with a lot of construction guys who own businesses.  He has witnessed his dad and his dad's friends borrowing equipment and tools from each other.  He thinks its the normal way of life.  Just borrow what you need from whoever has it.

Well in the case of his dad and his dad's friends, yes they do that.  They borrow things from each other all of the time. BUT.  They know how to use it, how to take care of it, how to repair it, or have the money to replace it if they damage it beyond repair.

My son thinks that whatever my neighbors may have that he wants to borrow will be fine to borrow.  What he does not understand is that his mother is full of foolish pride.  It embarasses me for him to even consider asking someone to borrow anything.  And the flip side of all of this is that if he damages whatever it is, I cannot afford to replace it.  He just doesn't get it.  Tonight we battled for several hours over this as he wanted to borrow our neighbor's roller to roll our lawn with.  I love that he likes to work.  I love that he is ambitious.  But it upsets me in a way that he just doesn't understand.  How do I make him understand this?

We had soooooo much fun!

The Friday night bowling venture got postponed to tonight, so as not to interfere with the social lives of my 14 and 15 year old kids...hmmm - while I stayed home alone and watched movies. Sigh.

But we went bowling this evening and the bowling alley was experiencing a lot of technical difficulties, our balls kept getting stuck and we would have to go to the desk.  They finally told us we needed to pick different balls to use.  We did.  They still kept getting stuck.  We could not get through and entire frame without having to go to the front desk. It was frustrating.  They finally came over and said they were going to move us to a different lane.  At that point I said we were done and we wanted our money back, they said they would only give us half back because we completed one game.   I said fine whatever and we left.

My daughter told me a new place in town had opened. Its called "Somethin' Funn"  and has an inside go kart track, a tokens and tickets type arcade, and laser tag. My family is pretty good friends with the family that took this venture on, so  Butch (owner) and Harvey just spoiled us rotten, showing us around and such.  The kids loved the go karts and my youngest of course liked the arcade the best since he was about 3 inches too short to drive a go kart by himself. It was almost closing time by the time we got around to wanting to try out the laser tag - so we had to save that for another visit.  We had pizza and pop while we were there and Butch and Harvey kept giving my kids cotton candy and cookies and candy and stuff, oh my!

I think the very best part of all was when my daughter asked if just she and I could come back again sometime when the boys are with their dad.  I thought that was pretty way cool that she wants to hang with me someplace like that - you know, public and all, and a place where her friends will be too.  It was just one of those warm fuzzy feelings you get.

Birthdays kinda, sorta, suck...

Ok. It's over. I survived.

My youngest thought the 29? meant that I was two hundred and ninety some years old, he suggested next year we get 30? candles.

My mother told my kids that what they wanted to get me (a new mailbox)for my birthday was too expensive. (I could care less, but it really upset my daughter, when my kids hurt, I hurt)

My parents discovered an old mailbox that is perfectly good for my use, I can cover their last name with reflective tape so no one will hit it and it will be a perfectly fine gift for me.

My mother informed my daughter that we no longer do family dinners for birthdays because there are just too many of us. (We all got together for my stepsister's b-day in January...)

I am always required to provide birthday cards to all family members on their birthdays, not only from myself, but individually from my kids also. I got no cards from any family members...I did however receive well wishing phone calls.

Same well wishing phone call from my sister turned into an attack on me about my overall parenting skills which resulted with me in tears for a bit.

Phone call this morning explained she ran out of thyroid pills and I simply crossed her path on the wrong day....so all is well????

On the bright side I had a wonderful evening with my three kids, my son cooked steak and chicken breast on the grill and the four of us had a great family night. We planned a night of bowling for this Friday in honor of my two hundred and ninety some birthday.

I have my kids, and all is well. Apparently my birthday just hit at the wrong time of the month, day, year or whatever for the rest of my family.

See Coffee and One4JC, its not just your family!!!

Happy 29th?

Ok. So today is my day. Its my birthday. My 29th. Again. Hey, I am good at it! So first thing this morning I have a sick daughter who is not going to school. Then my son misses the bus. Then my little guy wakes up with a fever of 101. Happy birthday to me.

It's trash day. The dirty laundry is a mile high. I have a media plan that needs revamped. I need to write two more commercials. Since I have sick kids we will be staying home this evening. hmmmm. Just another normal day!

When I returned from town delivering my son to school, a friend was waiting on my doorstep with a chocolate birthday cake that says...

Happy 29th?

And one of the very best presents of all, my sons usually go to their dad's on Wednesday nights, but they called their dad and said they wanted to stay with me. Parenting guidelines state that they are to be with the birthday parent on their birthday but I was not going to force the issue because he gives them so much grief about it, but they did it on their own. It makes me very happy to know they love me enough to stand up for what they want!

Yes, it will be a good day, I have my kids and family and good friends including one very dear best friend who has already sent me a goofy e-card...all is very good.

Difficult Life Lessons

A couple of days ago I posted over my struggle with foul language with my children. Quite honestly, that is the least of my worries. Parenting is so difficult in this day and age. It's not the same world that we all grew up in and quite honestly the stupid stunts we pulled as kids were just that, stupid stunts. The choices available to the kids today are literally life-threatening.

A few weeks ago my youngest son fell into our pond on that cold and snowy day. It could have been a very tragic ending. It has lingered and haunted me relentlessly. I go over and over in my head, have I not warned these kids enough about the dangers of these lakes and ponds around us? Have I not told them and told them to not play around them alone? Why did he do that? Why didn't he listen to me? What did I not say loud enough and strong enough for him to understand? We were lucky that day, there was indeed an angel on his shoulder.

How many more times will each of my kids be lucky? My daughter will be 16 next month. I am looking for a million and one reasons to not let her behind the wheel by herself. Everytime I do something stupid when driving I tell her not to do that. Can I teach her enough and help her enough? Will she listen to all she has been told? Will she be safe?

My oldest son is 14 almost 15. He has been making some life choices for himself lately. I have talked myself blue in the face about the perils of drugs and alcohol. A family friend was recently seriously injured in an accident caused by pure stupidity and drunkeness. He is paying a consequence that will be with him the rest of his life. He spent a month in the hospital and came home in a halo this weekend. My son went to visit him for the first time. He came home really shook up. He saw screws in the friend's head holding the halo in place. It made an impact. However, was the impact harsh enough to help my son think about the consequence of bad decisions involving alcohol or drugs whenever faced with decisions like that? What else can I say or do? It is difficult realizing that we cannot be by their side protecting them each and every moment and guiding them each and every moment. We can only hope our words have made some kind of an impact.

Moral issues are again another issue I struggle with constantly. Hoping they will make the right decisions. I am an old-fashioned girl and try so hard to set a good example for them. I have encouraged them to "save" theirselves for the right person. I have encouraged them when they find the right person and the time is right in their life to marry the person, not just live with them. Its hard to convince them that divorce is not the easy way out and marriage is disposable when I myself am divorced. They know enough of of everything that went on and I have told them that I did everything I could to save it before I finally gave up. I never have male friends stay over, rarely do they even meet someone I happen to be dating. Its so hard. The world around us is so not perfect and its hard to want and provide a perfect world for them.

I know they are on loan to us for us to love, teach and guide them into their own lives and they have Free Will that we have no control over, we can only do our very best and pray very hard the rest of the time.

Saint Patricks Day

I went out last night with some friends and enjoyed some of the festivities of the Irish Holiday. One of my favorite bands was playing at my local haunt and I quickly turned into a dancing fool. I did not sit out many dances. I decided to go ahead and celebrate my birthday early and had a great time. I am very good at being 29. I have had years of practice at it. ;)

I forgot to make my Irish Stew yesterday so it is brewing in the crock pot today. All is well that end's well.

An early birthday present

I received an early birthday present today. The appointment was made and paid for in advance and I was told where to be at what time. I was given a one hour massage at one of the local hair salons. I get horrible headaches so that is what the massage therapist focused on and I am totally relaxed now. It was amazing. The lotion she used for the massage smelled so good but it was not one of those overpowering therapy type lotions, it was a very light subtle scent.

When I walked out of the salon I felt like my legs were made of jello. She actually had me sit in a chair for about ten minutes before I left and drink a glass of water. I have to say it was a very well thought out birthday gift and it was nice to get a little pampering!

Potty Mouth

I don't really know what got me to thinking about this. But what the heck. Foul language has become such the norm it is almost scary. I used to blush if I accidentally said a bad word. Now I am as ashamed to admit I use more bad words than I should. At one point I implemented a cussing jar in our home to get us all a bit more aware of our language. We were each given ten quarters and lost one to the cussing jar each time we said a bad word. Whoever still had one or more quarters when everyone else ran out, got the contents of the jar.

I lost all ten of my quarters in one sentence when I was cooking bacon one night and spilled water in the pan....(I also got more than ten little grease spatter burns too...)

My ex husband uses the "f bomb" as every other word in any and every conversation. I almost think I am immune to the word sometimes. However, when I hear my kids accidentally drop it and I am absolutely appalled by it. I have really been on them lately about their language. I get upset with their substitute words too, "shitocki", "freakin", etc... it is the intent behind the word being used.

I remember, I was in first grade and my best friend got introuble for using the f word on her brother. I had never heard it before but I assured her that I could use that word in my home and I would not get in trouble. Of course, I had to test that theory out and it took me almost a day to find a use for that word in front of everyone in my household. We were in the kitchen getting ready for dinner and my mom, dad and sister were all there. Our dog walked through and I went over and hugged the dog and said "I love you Tiger, you big ol' fscker you!" The entire house came to a screaching halt and dead silence settled over the room. My mom, my dad, and my sister were all staring at me. My dad asked me what I just said, and in all of my 6 year old innocence I repeated it loud and clear. My sister who is nine years older than me left the room in laughter... I got a healthy dose of soap in the mouth and a long lecture. But what I remember the most is the unbelievable silence that came over the entire house when I said the word....it was as if the whole world stopped. I was over the age of 30 before I ever uttered that word again.

So...how do we get through to our kids these days?

There is always someone who needs a hug...

Some people stay in your heart or on your mind after an initial meeting or brief contact. Maybe you have just met them. Maybe you have known them all your life. Sometimes you see them for just a few minutes, but they linger in your heart or on your mind for days afterward. Or sometimes you think of someone out of a clear blue and they linger in the corner of your mind. I have always attributed such thoughts to God's way of telling me to say an extra little prayer for that person. It seems like a lot of people like that have come across my mind and heart lately.

The other day I went to the license branch. I was not feeling at all well but I wanted to get it over with. I walked in and the line was about 10 deep. I took a deep sigh and took my place in line. It moved along quick enough for the check in process, the gal told me to take a seat and they would call my name. My name was called before I even got over to the waiting area!

The lady who waited on me breezed right through it all and then voila! Hit the wrong button... she had to get a supervisor to void it and start all over. I remained patient and in a very good mood, which was normally the point where my toe would have started to tapping, but for some reason it didn't bother me. Towards the end of the transaction, she looked at me with tears in her eyes, apologized and told me she was going to quit her job. She was older than the rest of the people working there, she had been off work due to her husband being ill and then passing away, and too many changes had taken place and she just didn't think she could catch up and ever do her job right again. I felt so bad for her, I wanted to climb across the counter and give her a hug, and now I wish I would have. I encouraged her to keep her job because being out around people was probably very good for her, wished her a good day and was on my merry way. She has hardly left my mind since. I hope she finds peace.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a former employee of my ex-husband's. We talked briefly. He called me later in the day and said he was going thru a divorce and asked for my thoughts, advice and pointers on divorce. I gave him the low down skinny, in the court system its black and white, no fault, 50/50. Do the division, resolve it and move on. Keep the gray out of it, gray is emotion and gray makes the attorneys rich. He understood what I was saying.

Well needless to say, he remained on my mind for days. Yesterday I called him, told him that I knew he was busy but I just wanted him to know that I understand what he is going through and how tough it can be not knowing who your friends are anymore, who you can trust, who is judging you and why... I offered my shoulder anytime he needed someone to talk to. It reduced him to tears. That was not my intent, however he was extremely appreciative and said I absolutely hit it on the head of exactly what he is feeling.

Sometimes I forget with my own kids how tough things can get. It seems like my daughter and I have been arguing about everything lately. I really cracked down on her the other day because things were just getting out of hand. I said what I had to say, gave the punishment that needed to be given and walked away from it. She tiptoed around me for hours. I didn't even stop to think - I did not offer any reassurance to her, I had only given her my disapproval, the whys of it, and the punishment. I later said something to her during a tv show and she started bawling, I asked why, and she responded with "I thought you were so mad at me that you would never talk to me again." It broke my heart. I hugged her and told her how much I loved her and she needed that more than anything in the world. So did I. Sometimes we forget.

Two Down.....

Okay it was just me not feeling so well...now my youngest one is sick too. He was exceptionally sweet and snuggly last night before I went to bed early. He woke me up around 11 crying because he was feeling so icky too....

So today there are two of us down for the count. All I want to do is sleep, if only I can convince him that is all he wants to do also!

Geesh

I so do not feel well. It has been a mild winter for the kids and I as far as being sick. My youngest had a cold/flu bug over Christmas break, but for the most part, we have all remained pretty healthy this winter. Until last evening that is. I was watching a movie with the kids and kept feeling worse and worse - I was in bed and sound asleep long before the movie was over. This morning I feel as if a mack truck has run over me, my throat hurts, my head hurts....I just don't feel very well. Sigh.

hehehe

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

A Gurlie Gurl

Well the full moon hit last night and spring fever and I went just plain old stir crazy. After I dropped all of my kids off at their destinations I got a bee in my bonnet and headed east to Fort Wayne. I had a NEED TO SHOP.

I started at Burlington Coat Factory. Saw a few things, nothing major. Went to Jefferson Pointe and went into my favorite store and decided everything looked too grown up or something. My birthday is quickly approaching and I think I may be having a bit of a crisis... Then I decided it was just too cold to shop at Jefferson Pointe so I went to Glenbrook.

I found some really good deals at some of my favorite stores at Glenbrook. I even bought myself a bottle of my favorite perfume. I left Fort Wayne feeling much better and feeling much more like a gurlie gurl again. Every now and then I just need to shop for myself. Most of the time I head out with that as my intention and come home with nothing for myself and everything for my kids. Last night I did not buy a single thing for any of them!

Country Cares For Kids

Today is the second and last day for the WBTU 17th annual radiothon for the St. Jude's Children's Hospital in Indianapolis. Several years ago I was listening to the radiothon and was reduced to tears. I became a partner in hope in honor of my healthy children.

The following summer my cousin's daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. She directly benefited from the research work done at St. Jude's through Riley's Children's Hospital in Indianapolis. The little girl fully recovered from her leukemia. Something I would not have been able to tell you several years ago.

One of the happiest days was when my cousin's daughter and my daughter, who are the same age, played as opponents in a basketball game. The girls had the opening tip off and to see the two of them healthy and happy enjoying a good rivalry game of basketball had each and every one of us adult family members in tears in the stands.

St. Jude has ever since been my passion. The years that I worked for WBTU found me doing everything that I could to make the annual radioathon a success. It not only benefits the children who are there who are very ill, but the research that is completed touches each and every one of us in our lives, somehow, someway. Do what you can to help!

WBTU/St. Jude Radioathon