Monday, March 19, 2007

Difficult Life Lessons

A couple of days ago I posted over my struggle with foul language with my children. Quite honestly, that is the least of my worries. Parenting is so difficult in this day and age. It's not the same world that we all grew up in and quite honestly the stupid stunts we pulled as kids were just that, stupid stunts. The choices available to the kids today are literally life-threatening.

A few weeks ago my youngest son fell into our pond on that cold and snowy day. It could have been a very tragic ending. It has lingered and haunted me relentlessly. I go over and over in my head, have I not warned these kids enough about the dangers of these lakes and ponds around us? Have I not told them and told them to not play around them alone? Why did he do that? Why didn't he listen to me? What did I not say loud enough and strong enough for him to understand? We were lucky that day, there was indeed an angel on his shoulder.

How many more times will each of my kids be lucky? My daughter will be 16 next month. I am looking for a million and one reasons to not let her behind the wheel by herself. Everytime I do something stupid when driving I tell her not to do that. Can I teach her enough and help her enough? Will she listen to all she has been told? Will she be safe?

My oldest son is 14 almost 15. He has been making some life choices for himself lately. I have talked myself blue in the face about the perils of drugs and alcohol. A family friend was recently seriously injured in an accident caused by pure stupidity and drunkeness. He is paying a consequence that will be with him the rest of his life. He spent a month in the hospital and came home in a halo this weekend. My son went to visit him for the first time. He came home really shook up. He saw screws in the friend's head holding the halo in place. It made an impact. However, was the impact harsh enough to help my son think about the consequence of bad decisions involving alcohol or drugs whenever faced with decisions like that? What else can I say or do? It is difficult realizing that we cannot be by their side protecting them each and every moment and guiding them each and every moment. We can only hope our words have made some kind of an impact.

Moral issues are again another issue I struggle with constantly. Hoping they will make the right decisions. I am an old-fashioned girl and try so hard to set a good example for them. I have encouraged them to "save" theirselves for the right person. I have encouraged them when they find the right person and the time is right in their life to marry the person, not just live with them. Its hard to convince them that divorce is not the easy way out and marriage is disposable when I myself am divorced. They know enough of of everything that went on and I have told them that I did everything I could to save it before I finally gave up. I never have male friends stay over, rarely do they even meet someone I happen to be dating. Its so hard. The world around us is so not perfect and its hard to want and provide a perfect world for them.

I know they are on loan to us for us to love, teach and guide them into their own lives and they have Free Will that we have no control over, we can only do our very best and pray very hard the rest of the time.

1 comment:

trying2hide said...

I think the way you speak of your children reflects that you are an awesome parent.