In my life, I have sometimes had a friend who I have called my best friend. Most of the time, they are of the same sex and someone I can share all of my secrets, thoughts and worries with. Laugh with them, cry with them, celebrate with them and mourn with them. I have always believed the best way to have a friend is to be a friend. On occasion a male acquaintance has also become a very good friend to me and a couple even earning the title of best friend. When I was a kid, my neighbor across the street was my very best friend, he and I went frog hunting almost every night during the summer and tormented our sisters with them. We were best friends until my parents separated and we moved away.
Throughout the years I had several close girlfriends. It just seems to be part of growing up, to find someone you can identify with that can assure you that you are alright but the world is all wrong.
In more recent years I have become much more guarded with people. I found people that I thought were friends, really weren't. It is a hard lesson to learn and it can harden you. I will simply say divorce changes a lot of things and let it go at that.
Some observations about a true best friend:
They get you.
You can say what you mean and not have to defend yourself.
They can tell you when you are wrong and you won't get mad at them.
You can tell them when they are wrong and they won't stay mad for too long. ;)
They will sing you a lullabye over the phone when you are feeling sad and alone and scared and unable to sleep. (If nothing else it will make you laugh.)
They can tell you when you have reached the point of being totally too upset and unreasonable and that you just need to sleep and they will call you in the morning.
They can sit for hours under a full moon and share a bottle of wine with you and talk about everything and nothing at all.
If the lullabye doesn't work they will make up really silly bedtime stories instead.
If you happen to land your butt in jail, they will be the one beside you saying "Damn that was fun!" (Hasn't happened yet, but don't underestimate us.)
Simple things become fun when shared with a best friend, and difficult things become simple when shared with a friend.
Every story about them that they share with you becomes an insight into them and endears them to you all the more.
When they hurt, you hurt.
You would do anything for them. Anytime. No questions asked.
You learn to see and understand their perspective on various subjects.
You love to offer your perspective on various subjects for them to see and understand.
You know if you need them, they will be there. No questions asked.
I have one very dear true best friend who fits into all of the above observations. I can tell you my life is so much better for having this friend. Sometimes you learn things about yourself by getting to truly know another person. You can discover your likes, dislikes and even philosophies of life. A true friend enriches your life and cheers you on through the ups and downs and is offering a hand when they can. I have this very best friend in my life, and no matter what paths we may take in our future, I will always be only one phone call away from him.
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