Every once in a while a simple song can catch you off guard. It can hit you right between the eyes with a major dose of reality. I just had one of those servings of reality that kind of reduced me to tears. She Daisy has a song called "God Bless the American Housewife" It just hit really hard.
Once upon a time ago, I was just that, An American Housewife. I wasn't perfect, but I was happy dealing with all of life's little surprises, taking care of the kids, doing laundry, cooking meals. The marriage wasn't perfect, but in my mind it was what I wanted. I gave it up. Now I am still all of those things plus the breadwinner and am solely responsible for the house, maintenance and the kids. Sometimes its just difficult going it alone.
Divorce made me bitter and hardened my heart. I said I would never marry again. I don't think I meant that. I think I want it more than anything in the world. However I am very picky. And I seriously don't believe that anyone is ever going to want me with all of my rules, values, morals, baggage and opinions. Not only must he get past all of that - then my kids are also a top priority and I come as a package deal. I guess in reality I am not much of a package. I guess I will continue on my path and treasure my friendships that I have and accept the fact that what my daughter tells me is true, I am going to end up a lonely old cat lady.
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